We won't sleep together?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
