if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
