i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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