i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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