so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
