I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
and she was petting her beer can
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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