I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
