I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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