you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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