I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
