New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
