Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Damn victory sex feels great
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
