I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
