Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
