The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize