Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
birth control should be required to get into college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
