I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
