Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
