youre lurking in front of me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
