Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
