I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize