4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
