I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
