Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
