Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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