booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
