I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
