Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
