All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
