Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
