a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
