Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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