We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
someone threw a dead crab at me
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
