At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
