We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
