I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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