I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize