I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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