You can't motorboat a personality
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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