Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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