Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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