I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
