Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
