Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
