WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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