In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize