ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have post one night stand depression
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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