8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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