okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
