remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
