Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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