look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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