I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
