So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
