It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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