He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
