i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
