im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
