??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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