you guys were way drunker than both of me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
