So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
