WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize