i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
