Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
