how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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