that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
