I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize